Wednesday 11 November 2009 - FISHERMEN - the birders enemy! - 07/11/2009
Wednesday 11th November 2009
Birding Foes - Volume 1 - Fishermen
As regular readers will know, I pretty much deteste most anglers. Some are OK but the majority are truly annoying individuals. I once served a ban on one well known aviform based internet forum for saying that 'Fishing is just fox-hunting for people that live on council estates'. A quote I still stand by to this day..... not that I have anything against council estates, I was raised on one. If you need advice on hot-wiring a Ford Escort or tips on how to remove a pane of glass from a double-glazed window unit under the cover of darkness, then I'm your man.
When roaming around my local patch the presence of anglers usually means a complete lack of birds but disturbance is not the only reason for my intolerence. It's just that they tend to have no redeeming attributes whatsoever. Here are just a few of my reasons:
- LIES! They are frankly full of shit, you know when an angler is lying... because his lips move. Some real life quotes from the patch are as follows: "You should have been here last night, a flock of waders landed, there was at least a hundred birds". Yeah right and I've just seen a pod of Orcas swimming up the River Anker. "I once saw a White-tailed Eagle at Croxall." No you didn't mate, it was a Buzzard. "You birders are wankers, if it was up to you lot fishing would be banned!" Mmmmm not necessarily untrue.
- KIT! Maybe birders these days carry way too much equipment but fishing folk really do take it to the next level. In fact some have got so much stuff they turn up at Alvecote with wheel-barrows! When I was a lad, anglers arrived on site with one rod and a wicker basket with a few extra floats, a tub of maggots and their packed lunch. These days they tend to have THREE rods, a 3-man tent, a miniature bed, a luxury sleeping bag, a cooking stove, a case of Stella Artois, a four pack of Red Bull and the entire pre-packed sandwich selection from Morrisons. In addition they connect their rods to complex electrical alarm systems that let them know when they've received a bite, surely this is cheating. I have even seen a remote controlled boat that can despatch a quantity of bait into a desired area.
- POLLUTION! This applies to the minority rather than the majority. I will often come across litter strewn around the 'fishing pegs' which I then have to collect and take home. A more serious form of pollution occurred last year however when a strong herbicide was sprayed to kill lilly-pads on one particular pool. This resulted in the death of all fish as well as most insect life and subsequently a complete lack of birds. No action was taken by DEFRA or the Environment Agency in this instance.
- MAINTENANCE! When not fishing they take great delight in dumping rubble to create fresh 'pegs', hacking away at trees with chainsaws and clearing vegetation with noisy petrol strimmers, all at often totally inappropriate times of the year. They have little concept of the natural world other than what lurks around at the bottom of a pond.
- INDECENT EXPOSURE! I'm no prude so I can pretty much tolerate walking around a corner and being confronted by Mr Angler 'crimping one off' whilst squatting underneath a willow tree. I was not prepared however for what I witnessed on one memorable, rainy, Sunday morning. As I crept around quietly in search of a calling Water Rail, I lifted my bins to scan the edge of a small reedbed. As I panned left and right, I noticed a fisherman sitting on his stool, sheltered within the confines of his little tent. I don't know what made me look closer but upon carrying out a more detailed inspection I could clearly see that this filthy individual was 'wrestling with the purple-headed champ'.... in broad daylight.... and on the Sabbath! Now I must admit that I received a bit of a 'lazy lob on' myself whilst viewing the recent EASTERN CROWNED WARBLER up in the north east but I would never consider following it through to this extent. Just imagine if we birders resorted to such lewd acts at twitches, think what it would have been like at Dawlish Warren a few years back when the LONG-BILLED MURRELET turned up? It'd be like a scene from an exotic retreat holiday! Then again perhaps this pervert was not actually aroused by his hobby at all.... I suppose his behaviour could have been down to a serious case of boredom? If so he needs to look for a different past time..... but not birding of course.
Anyway if you agree or are offended by my opinions, I would like to read your comments. Just add them at the bottom of the blog.......
PS: As for fishermen who enjoy nothing more than sitting around an artificially stocked lake, this is like us birders heading to Slimbridge just to look at the wildfowl collection. Saying that I bet there are a few birders out there guilty of such crimes.
PPS: And what about the owners of these artificially stocked lakes who whinge about Cormorants and Ospreys costing them money? It would be like me filling up a peanut feeder for a Grey Squirrel then writing to my MP if a Great Spotted Woodpecker decided to take a crafty peck. Idiots!
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